libby court playground is like the WIC office

I think that the playgrounds near my house should have warning signs that tell me when there are weird people at the park. Weird to me consists of but not limited to:

1. Spelling words instead of saying them normally
2. Sitting on the bench with your head in your hands in complete silence while your child runs wild.
3. Departing from your household with greasy stringy hair that obviously hasn’t been washed in 2 weeks.
4. Saying random things that doesn’t pertain to anything around us (almost like talking to yourself but to a stranger)
5. Letting your 5 year old son talk/act like a baby
6. Letting your 5 year old son throw balls at my kid
7. Continuously telling me how bad you need a ‘smoke”
　
　
　
I am NOT good at faking politeness and I refuse to “small talk” with anybody.
　

• On a separate note the ARMY should screen applicants along with their spouses before allowing them to join. We are only as good as our weakest housewife and these bitches be weak. Also they are gross and unkempt.

ikea youre an asshole

today i:

finished chelsea handler's latest book. which i wasnt as impressed with as her first 2.

i watched the fresh beat band on nickjr while my child was asleep and didnt realize it until i was half way through. i finished watching it because im an asshole.

went to crate&barrel and drooled over crap that is way to expensive for me, but if i were rich would most definitely just buy just because.

went to ikea where i bought myself a desk and an extremely cute lamp.
although ikea has great deals on shit, they are also assholes because they force you to buy their brand light bulb which is BULLSHIT. anyhow, i got home and realized that i , in fact picked up the WRONG light bulb after about 10 minutes of trying to find the right one. i walked away from the lighting section feeling accomplished and confident that i indeed got the right bulb.

fucking....WRONG.  i now have to go back to ikea before i drive the 6 hours back to shithole georgia with a crying baby to get a stupid light bulb.

im pretty positive ikea does little shit like this just to stick it to their customers because they are bitter they have to build all this shit in their sweat shop and then sell it for cheap. well...

thanks ikea and screw you, jerkoff.

7:30 wake up call. bullshit.

juliana woke up this morning at 7:30. i am extremely excited that she is finally getting on a schedule, however i didnt appreciate the fact that i also had to get up with her. i am grateful for nickjr and my parents king size bed that i was able to pass out in while i left my child to learn from a t.v.

thank you nickjr you amazing bastard you.

on that note, here are 5 things i love about my offspring:

1. her sweet dance moves (which include spinning and galloping)

2. her laugh that is more like a chuckle/choke

3. when she squishes her mouth up into her nose and breaths real heavy. (kinda creepy like, but cute)

4. the way she says "cookie" that sounds more like coke-ee

5. the way she eats crackers.